Monday, January 13, 2014

Happy New Year!!

I'm BACK!!

It's been almost 2 1/2 years, but I've started blogging much has happened - moved to DC (Alexandria), started focusing on playing music again.....survived an ugly divorce.....but I'm still here!

What I've learned:
1. You're never as good as you think you are at your best, and you're never as bad as you think you are at your worst - the last two years have had many highs and lows, and I'm blessed to have made many new genuine friends who have helped me see the glass as half-full.

2. Find happiness in the little things - I've found more joy in the simple things like doing my internet radio show, conducting my church choir (on an interim basis) and singing at karaoke than I've had in years....and hey, if you're ever listening to Natalie Cole live, and she forgets the words, don't be afraid to lend a hand....that helps too!!

3. Don't be afraid to change - I used to fear change....I thought that I didn't have the ability to adapt. Sometimes change happens when you least expect it, and you're forced to adapt....and that's a good thing. I like who I am now a helluva lot better than who I was a few years ago - not because I think I was a horrible person - I was living in such fear and self-doubt, and I'm thankful that life forced me to take a hard look in the mirror at who I am and what I truly want out of life.

So with this, I wish everyone a Happy New Year 2014 - may you all continue to find love and happiness within yourselves and with the people you love and care about....I look forward to writing more and challenging my creativity in the upcoming year! Stay tuned....

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

50 albums that STILL knock me on my ass....

This one was a challenge...its not like these are the 50 Greatest Albums Ever Made, or 50 Albums That Changed History....I've started the process of unpacking my nearly 2000 cd's at my new place, and during the process, I started thinking about how some of these albums have had such a profound impact on my life. In some cases, I remember the exact moment when I heard them for the first time; in other cases, I think of how these albums set me on the path of becoming a musician, and in some instances, I think of how these albums helped shape my personality to some degree....if anyone wants to know where to find any of the "hard-to-find" or "never-heard-of-them" albums, I'll be glad to send you a link or even burn you a copy....anyway, here's the list:

50. Ray Charles - "Love Country Style" - I've listened to this album since my parents had it on 8-track...this features Johnny Cash's favorite cover of his classic hit "Ring of Fire."
49. Dazz Band - "Keep It Live" - I remember picking this album up, because I loved the song "Let It Whip"...I was pleasantlt surprised by the songwriting on the entire album.
48. Doc Severinsen and the Tonight Show Band - "Volume 1" - as someone who stayed up religiously to watch Johnny Carson, it was just as entertaining to listen to Doc and the band every night. This album captures that magic.
47. Tower of Power - "Direct" - this was a "live" studio recording of six of their classic tracks, done in one take...I'm still amazed at the level of musicianship in this band!
46. Michael McDonald - "Blink of an Eye" - if you've never heard McD's rendition of the classic hit "Hey Girl", you've been seriously deprived.
45. Joey DeFrancesco - "Organic Vibes" - this album features the great vibraphonist Bobby Hutcherson, and the combination of vibes and Hammond B3 is perfect!
44. Spyro Gyra - "Morning Dance" - although the title track is what brought the band to fame in the jazz world, its the songwriting and amazing lineup of some of NYC's top studio musicians that makes this album stand out.
43. Nat King Cole and George Shearing - I remember hearing the track "Pick Yourself Up" on one of the American Songbook shows on WNEW out of NYC back in the mid 80' college friend Rob Collins found this album in the summer of '89 while on vacation in Europe, and made me a copy. Now that I found the CD and burned it on iTunes, I'll never lose it. A classic voice and the "Shearing Sound"...enough said.
42. Chicago V - to me, the soul of the band Chicago died with singer Terry Kath..... the pure soulfulness of his voice on "Make Me Smile" is unmatchable...their sound on the early albums is truly unique, and unfortunately, the new version of this band will never reach this level.
41. Van Halen I - even though I think "Van Hagar" is when they found their true musical sound, the David Lee Roth era of Van Halen got off to a tremendous start with this album. Eddie Van Halen's guitar technique was truly revolutionary when this album came out in '78.
40. 24th Street Band - "Share Your Dreams" - the "pre-Letterman" house band, which featured the late Hiram Bullock, Will Lee, Steve Jordan, and Clifford Carter. Sick grooves, great vocals, and the true NYC studio sound (and the New York City Strut!).
39. Peter Gabriel  -"So" - I snuck into Woodstock '94 (ok, it was a free concert at this point) just to see Peter Gabriel and Tony Levin. This album came out during my junior year of high school, and I remember blowing out one of the speakers in my '79 Rabbit while "Big Time" was playing on the radio.
38. Roberta Flack - "Quiet Fire" - another album from my early childhood, that was (and still is) one of my mom's favorites as well. The album has such an amazing acoustic sound, and Roberta's voice is the perfect compliment to the arrangements and the overall production. Her cover versions of "Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water", "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" and "To Love Somebody" really broadened my horizons on how to take a unique approach to rearranging cover tunes!
37. Level 42 - "Running In The Family" - how these guys ended up being labeled as 'new wave' is beyond me......although I loved listening to their Top 40 hits when they were first released, my college roommate Chuck Wilson really turned me on to their catalog of music.....this album best represents their musicianship, from their funktastic grooves to their well-above-the-standard pop ballads.
36. Larry Carlton - "Smiles and Smiles to Go" - one of the most legendary studio musicians in history....this was his first record where he plays all acoustic guitar. I spent a lot of time listening to this album while driving back and forth from my folks' house to Ithaca when I was in college, and I have many memories of falling leaves and warm spring afternoons when listening to this record. When I pass away one of these days, I hope that his rendition of "The Lord's Prayer" is played at my funeral.
35. Kirk Whalum - "Cache" - his rendition of "Over The Rainbow" will be hopefully played after "The Lord's Prayer".
34. Herbie Hancock - "Maiden Voyage" - I remember taking a Jazz Improvisation class at Ithaca back in '89, and having to analyze the Freddie Hubbard trumpet solo on the title track....I was instantly hooked on the entire record.
33. New York Voices - this album makes me proud to be an Ithaca alumnus....NYV came back to IC to promote this album, and they spent a lot of time doing master classes and giving the vocal jazz students a great deal of coaching and positive feedback. Darmon's scat solo on Caravan is off the charts!
32. Hiram Bullock Band - "Live at Manny's Car Wash" - I vividly remember saying "HOLY F---!!" out loud when I heard the cover of Hendrix's "All Along The Watchtower" for the first time in my apartment 16 years ago when I picked this album up. This is the ultimate 'power trio' album, with Hiram, Will Lee on bass, and Clint DeGanon on drums....all I can say is FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS!
31. Michael Jackson - "Off The Wall" - say all you want about Thriller....THIS is the definitive record....from Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough, to Rock With You, to the title track.....groovalicious all the way through!
30. Joe Doggs/Joey DeFrancesco - "Falling In Love Again" - who knew that Joe Pesci could SING HIS ASS OFF???
29. Moody Blues - "Days of Future Passed" - a shout-out to Jon Epstein for turning me on to this album, during our many drives back from Ithaca for fall and winter break....I can still picture the overcast days riding up Route 17, my friend!
28. Jimmy Smith "Bashin" - one of the original Hammond B3 jazz musicians....I still have my dad's original copy on vinyl...I listened to Jimmy Smith and Ray Charles religiously when I was in elementary school....hell, I thought everyone did! (What a great way to be so incredibly naive!)
27. The Brecker Brothers - "Return of the Brecker Brothers" - in a word....DAMN. Two unbeliveably talented cats, surrounded by the top musicians on the scene. LOVE the track "Big Idea" with the melody line from their classic hit "Some Skunk Funk".
26. Sting - "Bring On The Night" - I remember driving home from a concert at Saratoga in 1986 listening to this album at 2 in the morning for the first time...I wasn't really a Sting or Police fan until after hearing this album, and then going back to the original recordings.
25. Donny Hathaway - "Live" - I've said it before, and I'll say it again....his version of "What's Goin' On" is just as good as Marvin's....believe that!
24. Wes Montgomery - "A Day In The Life" - I cannot wait to cross 'driving up the PCH watching the sunset listening to this album' off my bucket list!
23. Al Jarreau - "Look to the Rainbow" - Al Jarreau doing what Al Jarreau does best....him and a rhythm section just tearing it up!
22. Ricky Peterson - "Nightwatch" - I remember seeing Ricky for the first time when  he was playing keyboards for David Sanborn in '87....he blew me away! This is his first solo record, and his sense of rhythm and chord structure and improvisation is phenomenal. Plus this is a great album to listen to at 3am!
21. Grover Washington Jr. - "Come Morning" - I bought this album in the summer of '87, and I remember driving to Boston on the Mass Pike listening to this on a perfect sunny summer day. To this day, this CD is always in the car when I head to New England.
20. George Benson/Earl Klugh - "Collaboration" - I remember being with my brother Lee in the Arby's on Albany Avenue in Kingston NY in August 1987 when I heard the track "Mt. Airy Road" for the first time, and we both said "Cool! New Benson album!" This is one of my 'road trip' albums....great for driving on a sunny day, as I've listened to this on many of my Acura adventures!
19. Luther Vandross - "Never Too Much" - I remember seeing the video for this song, and buying the cassette (remember those?) the next day....the title track is too funky for words, and Luther set the tone for singing ballads with his cover of Burt Bacharach's "A House Is Not A Home". There will never be another Luther....EVER!!
18. Frank Zappa - "Roxy and Elsewhere" - the album that helped me come out of my shell...I played in a reggae/funk band in Woodstock in the early 90's, and we covcered the Zappa tune "Village of the Sun" from this album....this experience was like a whole new level of music (and life) education for I'm proud to say 'my name is Lane, and I'm a Zappaholic.'
17. Take 6 - this album should be REQUIRED LISTENING for any of these wannabe boy-band pop stars....six-part harmonies that all but revolutionized a cappella singing....think I'm kidding? Look up who  Boyz II Men lists as their biggest influence when they first started out....
16. Al Jarreau - "Mornin'" - not a perfect summer morning goes by where I don't play the title cut on my way to work....and I've been doing this for 20 I write this, I know for a fact that this CD is in the 6 slot in the CD changer in the Acura....just sayin'....
15. Stevie Wonder - Fulfillingness' First Finale" - my favorite Stevie 'non-greatest-hits' album...I will never forget listening to the track 'Creepin' with my dad on the snowy Saturday afternoon in January '75 while waiting for my mom in the supermarket. This is still my favorite album to listen to on snowy cloudy days...
14. The Doobie Brothers - "Minute By Minute" - classic Michael McDonald, at his absolute best!
13. Steely Dan - "Aja" - I remember listening religiously to legendary DJ Dan Ingram on WABC-AM back in the day, and I can still hear his voice during the intro to "Josie". (Let's not forget to mention that this album is musically brilliant!)
12. Hiram Bullock - "From All Sides" - I remember the night in 1986 when I stayed up to watch Hiram perform as a solo act on Letterman, and he played his cover of "Funky Broadway" with Paul Shaffer and the boys....I bought the album right before my high school graduation, and the track "Window Shoppin'" 'knocked my doors off.' I still listen to this album like it came out yesterday!
11. Pat Metheny Group - "Still Life (Talking)" - I heard this for the first time in October 1987 while driving from Ithaca to Buffalo on a fall Friday evening....the track "Last Train Home" felt so appropriate (even though it was while watching the sunset and the lights of the trucks on the New York Thruway)...I also remember riding with my friend Rob Collins while he was delivering pizzas singing the chorus to Minuano Six-Eight at the top of our lungs...good times...
10. Marcus Miller - "Suddenly" - Jon Sanborn made me a copy of this album when I first met him my freshman year of high school back in '83. Up to this point, my foray into R&B music was very "ol-skool" (70's R&B) so this album really resonated with me....Marcus is the artist who piqued my interest in playing bass, as this was the first R&B album where I truly heard the bass used as a lead instrument...
 9. Miles Davis - "Porgy & Bess" - a classic Miles Davis withe the Gil Evans Orchestra album....amazing arrangements of the Gershwin classic.
 8. David Sanborn - "Backstreet" - this is my favorite album to listen to whenever I'm in New York just has that NYC studio sound that I love...
 7. Earth, Wind, and Fire - "I Am" - this was the first EWF album (8-track! It was '79!) that I bought, because I loved (and still love) the song After the Love Has the groove of In The Stone still hits the spot 32 years later.
 6. Jimi Hendrix - "Are You Experienced?" - as the late Hiram Bullock said, "Jimi's music was made TOMORROW." There are no bad cuts on this album whatsoever, as most of these are now considered timeless. And who else would think to record a guitar solo, so that when you play it backwards, it fits the chord structure of the song? Holy crap!
 5. Jaco Pastorius - the bass-playing world was knocked on their ass with this record, as it truly influenced bassists from every genre. Jaco's influence on bass was very comparable to Jimi's influence on the guitar. Portrait of Tracy and Jaco's cover of Donna Lee are still mind blowing!
 4. Chuck Mangione - "Feels So Good" - the album that caused my grades to drop from 4th - 6th grade. I listened to this album EVERY DAY from 1978 - 1981 (when his Fun & Games album came out). Homework was not a priority for me because of this album, and 33 years later, I still have no regrets!
 3. Roberta Flack - "Killing Me Softly" - I specifically remember the fall morning in '73 going with my mom to the car wash in her '68 Chevy Caprice and listening to this album. Love the Fender Rhodes keyboards used on the album, the songs have that classic acoustic 'Roberta' sound, and the track 'Suzanne' takes me back to that day every time I listen to it.
 2. Ray Charles - "A Man and His Soul" - this album is way ahead of its time. A black man in 1961 recording country/western songs and American Songbook classics (as big band arrangements and well-arranged ballads) was an incredible risk, but well worth the reward. Most of these songs are now on greatest hits compilations, but these were the soundtrack of my life as a little kid, as I can remember many car rides listening to Brother Ray.
 1. Stevie Wonder - "Songs In The Key Of Life" - the album that confirmed for me at age 7 that I wanted to be a musician...I wore out my 45's of the songs Sir Duke, I Wish, and Another Star, and over the years, I've come understand the dichotomy of songs like 'Village Ghetto Land', and I've learned an incredible amount about life, love, culture and society from these songs. I truly believe that Stevie Wonder 'sees' and feels things on a higher emotional level, and that this album is truly his masterpiece.

There you have it.....hope this gives my friends a better insight into my musical mind....and hey, hopefully I just made a few album recommendations......

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

for p.c.......

By now, most of you know that I lost my good friend Pat Cerello two weeks ago....I guess the reality of Pat's passing didn't start to hit me until a few days ago. Although the hurt and loss was immediate, it was over the past few days that I began to realize the impact that Pat had on me as a friend and a musician, and I also realize the incredible void that he leaves behind, which is felt by so many.

I first met Pat during the summer of 2000 - I was playing gigs with saxman Tom Hamilton in Northeast PA, and Tom got me on a gig with "The All-Night Band", filling in as a trumpet player (with the occasional vocal tune). After years of playing easy, by-the-book Top 40 gigs, this opportunity was invigorating, as it was a gig where all of my favorite styles of music (jazz and r&b in particular) were played, and I had to really bring my "A" game on each and every gig....Pat soon realized that being a vocalist is my strong suit, and he offered me a full-time gig with the band. From this our friendship developed quickly, and my ears were opened to a whole new level of musicianship!

The gig that really allowed Pat and I to bond was the now-imfamous "Gig From Hell", which happened Labor Day weekend 2001 (10 days before 9/11).....we played a wedding for a friend of Pat's up in Lake Placid, and to say it was exhausting was an understatement....schlepping 6 hours up to Lake Placid to crappy overnight accomodations with no showers, cold temperatures, and being the "secondary" band to Johnny Maestro & The Brooklyn Bridge (seriously....these guys all looked and sounded like used-car salesmen with bad combovers!) would be enough to make most guys turn around and go home, but Pat did everything in his power to keep everyone in good spirits, all things considered. I rode up and back with him that weekend in his brand-new Volvo, and we spent hours talking about life, family, and of course, music. Pat and I found out that we had many things in common (we both have older siblings that were put up for adoption that we reconnected with), and the time we spent hanging out that weekend is something that I will never forget.

Pat and his family are the true definition of generous - anytime that I was at Pat's house late after a gig, his wife Cindy made sure I did not leave the house without a "to go" cup of coffee for my drive back to Pennsylvania. And anytime you were at the house, you knew you would get a good meal....(I admit, there were a few times when I skipped lunch driving up to Pat's house, because I knew my tummy would be happier from Cindy's leftovers compared to anything I would get at McDonalds!) I think about the conversations that Pat and I had in his downstairs recording studio about how talented his daughters are (the understatement of the year), and the hours of us listening to music and trying out musical equipment, and how much I learned about life spending time with him and his family, and I know that I'm truly blessed to have had such quality time.

Pat and I had the 'stupidest' of fights a few years back (a fight well documented by some), but I'm thankful that we were both able to put aside our differences and patch up our friendship. It meant a lot to me to gig with Pat during the last couple of years, as there was a comfort and a routine to playing music with him that I have never felt playing with anyone else. It still blows my mind that Pat could play at such a virtuoso level, even when he was either worrying about an angry bride, or if the band got fed after the first or second set. He would always talk about how much better he played when "he wasn't the bandleader", and that was one of the primary motivators for me to invite him to play the "Partners In Crime" gig with me in Woodstock two years ago...that for me is my "Super Bowl" gig - there wasn't anything earth-shattering about the gig, but for me, it was an honor to have my brother Lee and my "brother from another mother" Pat on the same stage, as they are two musicans that I will always look up to. To see them having fun and playing their asses off is something that I will always cherish!

I guess what has been really hitting me hard is knowing the void that many of us feel right now, as Pat's time came way too soon. Knowing that I won't hear him play "In a Sentimental Mood" anymore frustrates the hell out of me, as that was always the highlight of my gigs with Pat. He played a solo on the credenza that was always a MOTHERFUCKER (sorry to be so blunt, but there is no other word to truly describe how good his solos were) our friend Jan Stevens said at Pat's funeral service, Pat had sense of humor that he would share at the gigs and that he would also incorporate into his music, and that was always refreshing.....who else would encourage me to sing songs like Surfin' USA and Beer Barrel Polka on gigs, as not only was I the only black person in the band, but also the only black person at the 200-guest wedding?

Pat, I miss you terribly, and I will never forget all the fun times we had over the last 11 years.....I feel like you gave me my Master's Degree in "Gigology", as you challenged me to reach my musical potential in a way that nobody else ever has....please rest in peace knowing that your friends will do everything that we can to be there for your family, and know that we will never let your musical legacy be forgotten. Love ya, man...

Friday, December 31, 2010

lane's new year's resolutions....

Happy New Year Everyone,
Its that time are the Top 10 resolutions that probably won't happen, but hey, its good to dream big....

10. Lose 40 pounds - geez, if I get my left butt cheek surgically removed, this could be a possibility!
 9. Try to continue my tradition of going to the Dollar Store, grabbing about 60 items, taking them all to the cash register, and asking for individual price checks on each item - this never gets old!
 8. Form that Kenny G cover band I've always wanted to put rehearsals required, as each song sounds the same anyway.
 7. Jump on the Detroit Lions bandwagon.....nobody will accuse me of picking an easy winner, that's for sure!
 6. Get my 15 minutes of fame by mooning Sarah Palin.
 5. Wear shorts and flip-flops on a very cold winter day.....just call me "Assicle".
 4. Write a children's book.....imagine how INCREDIBLY WARPED that would be!!!
 3. Install a functioning toilet in my more missing any moments of the Super Bowl.....ever!!
 2. MORE ROAD TRIPS - I don't get out enough.....LOL

And my top New Year's Resolution.....

 1. Talk less, listen more (thanks, Debbie!), and laugh until it hurts - a very heartfelt THANK YOU to all my friends who have been tremendously supportive over the past year.....2011 is gonna be a wonderful year!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

ithaca forever....

"Your time here in college will be one of the best times in your life...."
Too bad it took me 20 years to realize the above statement......I just spent an amazing weekend back at my alma mater, Ithaca College this past weekend.....if someone told me in 1987 that I would go to Homecoming in 2010, and leave with nothing but wonderful memories, I would've slapped them silly....I found closure this weekend that I thought I would never have....

I spent Saturday reuiniting with friends from my older brother's fraternity, Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia....although I have been close to a few of them in recent years, it was very nice to reunite with some of the guys who I have not seen in years, and in some cases, start a new friendship with some of the guys.....I'd love to say that I always had a great relationship with a lot of people from my college days, but alas, that wasn't the case....when I first arrived at IC as "Lee's Tag-Along Brother" in the Fall of '87, to say things got off to a rocky start would be an UNDERSTATEMENT....the Registrar's office screwed up my 32 transfer credits from my year at a community college (which also screwed up my housing), and my first few weeks of school were spent living in a dorm lounge with 4 obnoxious jocks, haggling with the registrar, and unfortunately endearing myself to most people who were around me....this haunted me for the entire time that I was in college, and in all honesty, its still bothered me all these years later....with everything that's currently going on in my semi-fucked up life these days, I was actually fearful that it would feel like 1987 all over again this weekend......I was very happy and relieved that this did not happen...

So to all my fellow IC alums that made me feel like I was one of the gang (and obviously forgot about the past), I offer a very heartfelt THANK YOU.....I thouroughly enjoyed our time at the cookout (the free beer was a bonus!), the game (I LOVED rocking out with the Pep Band!!), and our time hanging out afterwards in downtown Ithaca...I can truly say that this is now one of my favorite memories from Ithaca, and I look forward to making many more!

As for the quote above? I was in the Phi Mu Alpha dorm lounge on Saturday night (and I got to see my old dorm room from '87-'88....sweet!) before heading home, and I had a very inspiring conversation with some of the undergrad music was probably more inspiring to me than it was to them, but they reminded me of why I love music in the first place....the quote above actually came out of my mouth (really!), and I can honestly say that I NEVER felt that way before this weekend, as I've always focused on the negative experiences from those days.....I guess time does truly heal all wounds!


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

....a sad observation about the locals in amish country.....

Greetings from my hang at the "B&N" (Barnes & Noble)....

Sitting here people watching (and simultaneously that a word?) on a Wednesday night here in Amish country....I'm still amazed that people can still shock the hell out of me in this town....about 10 minutes ago, I overheard a middle-aged couple sitting in the Starbucks section,  referring to an African-American numerous times as "colored"...WTF?? Being the wise-ass that I am (and in this case, am very proud to be), I held up my cellphone and politely said  "Excuse me, I've got the Deep South in 1964 on the phone....they want their catch phrase back." (And yes, it was worth pissing them off BIG TIME!) What shocks me even more is that nobody around them seemed the least bit shocked or offended......just when you think you've seen and heard it all.....Lancaster - gotta love it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

pet peeves.....

25 things that drive me crazy on any given day....

25. People who come to a complete stop before turning on the turn signal.
24. Grabbing the milk or orange juice container out of the fridge, and there's barely a sip left.
23. People who have 100 pens on their desk, and NONE of them work! (I know Michele, I'm guilty of this one!)
22. Old, heat-lamp-warmed french fries.
21. Sport mufflers - yeah, in addition to the unbelievably obnoxious noise they make, they really make your souped-up-neon-plastered Ford Focus that much cooler. (Uh, no.)
20. When adjectives and/or nouns are used as verbs - is there anything sadder that hearing a professional athelete say "we out-physicaled them" as a way to define victory?
19. Commercials broadcast at inappropriate times - nothing makes dinner more interesting than hearing about excessive bleeding with cramping and four-hour erections.
18. People who can't (won't) put the shopping carts back in the designated areas....once you end up with a few shopping cart dents in your car, you'll know exactly what I mean!
17. "Flatulation without representation" - I'm pretty sure the British colonists of the original 13 colonies in the 1750's had someone who spoke up about this, and the reply received was probably "whoever shalt smelt it, hath dealt it".
16. NFL Pre-game show banter - the fake laughter of Shannon Sharpe on CBS and Tom Jackson on ESPN is enough to make my skin crawl. (Bring back Jimmy the Greek!)
15. Dogs dressed in outfits - its bad enough that your poodle can get its ass kicked by just about every other breed of you really have to put him in a bright fuschia sweater?
14. Backwards toilet paper - the roll always comes down in the front - ITS THE LAW.
13. Diner waitresses with really bad teeth - nothing witty about just creeps me the hell out.
12. FM Radio DJ Intros - just once, I'd like to be able to hear the intro to "Reelin' In The Years" without all the lame humor and the drivetime traffic reports.....which leads me to....
11. Smooth Jazz DJ's in general - how badly do you have to flunk an IQ test to get this gig?
10. Twitter - some people should not be allowed to have such an avenue for flaunting ignorance. (See #20.)
  9. Keith Olbermann & Glenn Beck - one is left, the other the exact opposite of left, and the day will never come when either of them will be RIGHT.
  8. Best Buy/Circuit City employees - don't you just love how they treat you like you don't even know how to turn on your TV, let alone know what could be wrong with it?
  7. The car music "double standard" - let me get this straight....its cool for the white guy to blast Jay-Z from his car speakers, but I'm a sellout for playing my Zepplin too loud? Seriously???
  6. People who take 15 minutes to order at McDonald's - besides the addition of the McCafe and the elimination of the McRib, has the menu really changed that much in 40 years?
  5. WalMart fashion - just beacuse they make the white stretch pants in your size, that's not reason to wear them with the blue polka-dot thong while showing off your 'tramp stamp' above your butt crack.....I'm just sayin'.....
  4. Third person references - usually found with celebrity and/or athelete interviews and Twitter posts......don't make Lane get all angry up in here!
  3. When mens room urinal etiquette is not followed - there should be no talking whatsoever, you should always look straight forward, and no matter how great the touchdown was to win the game, no hand shaking or hi-fiving.....EVER!!
  2. Parrotheads - Really? People follow Jimmy Buffett around the country to hear him sing Margaritaville every night? And they do this on purpose???
  1. The Toilet Seat - sorry ladies, but if men are so stupid and forgetful, how come we can remember to LIFT THE TOILET SEAT UP?

If anyone has any quirky pet peeves to share, please feel free...